The silence surrounding stillbirth can lead many to feel unduly ashamed or somehow responsible-but that needs to change. Hopefully, with time, I can come back and say, ‘I've been through this, and look at me now and where I am.’ But right now, everything is just so fresh.” Expanding on how she's feeling, Vander explains, “I mean, yes, I lost a grandparent, but it's a different kind of grief. “.I looked at her photos with the baby, and my hope is to do the same. “When Chrissy Teigen talked about her baby loss, I saw it,” Vander says. However, now that more women are being open about baby loss, from Meghan Markle to Chrissy Teigen, the world is gaining a better understanding of the formerly taboo topic. “It's a traumatic experience to the dad, and to the mom, and people don't talk about it because it's so traumatic,” Vander tells ELLE. Stillbirth still isn't widely discussed, even though it affects as many as one in 160 births in the U.S. “So within three hours, I was already at the hospital basically ready for delivery.” And then I went to do an ultrasound in the clinic, and they confirmed no heartbeat, the baby had basically died.” Because she was so close to her due date, Vander had to deliver her baby, knowing that he was no longer alive. “At that moment I just had a very bad feeling. And then when I went to the checkup, put the Doppler on my belly, just couldn't find a heartbeat.”Īt 38 weeks pregnant, she knew that something was wrong. And I still felt the baby move, here and there. And that's why I feel the baby move less.’” She continues, “Four days later. Clearly I'm two weeks away from delivery, probably less room to move. So at that point I'm like, ‘I'm just being paranoid. I went to a private ultrasound.Normal heartbeat, baby was moving. Opening up about what happened, Vander reveals, “A few days prior to losing the baby, I felt less movement.
“Even with my two kids,” Vander says, “I still have that big void, that something is missing.” Still, she wanted to share her story. She's coping with the loss “one minute at a time ” she and her husband, David Miller, have been trying their best to stay strong for their son, Aiden, who is two and a half, and daughter Elle, who is 19 months old. “I'm looking like a mess here,” she explains on the call from the cemetery, where she would choose a plaque for her child. When Vander spoke with last week, she was still figuring out her next steps after losing her baby son, Mason.
Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box.” I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics. The realtor and mother of two, who had documented her latest pregnancy on season 4 of the Netflix reality show, just shared the tragic news on Instagram two weeks ago: “Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. After suffering baby loss, Selling Sunset star Maya Vander is speaking out in hopes of helping other women and parents.
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